Link to my comment at. portraits of my ashtray
You need to learn not to be scared of the dark, it can be your friend, if you know how to use it. You’d be amazed how much peripheral vision, hearing and spatial memorisation can help you, when in need, it calms you, slows your heart beat, to know you are in control of your space. This link below explains the old soldier trick of seeing in the dark in detail. Even the Samurai used it in combat, just as our sports men and women do on the playing field. Seems to be a West and East martial cultural aspect predominately.
I love the dark, particularly with absent moon as the stars glow brighter and the milky way splashes from horizon to horizon, like a sparkling white soup, I feel at peace, during these fleeting moments in the dusty outback. When the blanket monsoons come, no moon and your stuck in the jungle, you canna see one metre in front of you, your night vision goggles see no further then the invisible infra red light allows, that can be daunting and scarred into your brain for life, when you know you’re hunting or being hunted.
Jealously is a curse that leads to envy, particularly when it’s over a beauty such as yours, yet I vaguely know what you look like from your picture. Your writing seems to point to this though. That man wants to posses you, not be with you, support you, and love you. Familiar love lasts forever, one day you will know when you find it.
I visited the tourist destination of Fiji once, for a friends wedding, not my cuppa tea, I found myself talking mainly to the indigenous, about their demographic situation and how their warriors deal with it, then I was giving them $100 tips, for their service. Not even a weekly food shop back home $100, yet the baby sitter said it would feed her family for 6 months. Yeah I’m a sucker. One elder man liked my goatee, I remember him well, I liked him too, he wanted to grow and style one like mine, feral and past my neck line. The elder man made good traditional neck breakers, I bought one home, to remember him. I talked to that black old man many times, for he could see my scars that were invisible to everyone else. Not all is what it looks to be, sometimes the depth of the dark is limitless.